I’ve always known about this pervasive problem but the true size and severity of it never fully dawned on me until recently. Almost everyone commits this error in sales conversations and it’s awful to behold. I probably do it too but I don’t notice it. 

Everyone is talking too much.

Well not everyone. Clients aren’t talking nearly enough. But we–when we’re in our salesperson role—we’re talking way too much and it is costing us in poor closing ratios and sales pipelines clogged with deals gone dark as we unnecessarily drive doubt into the client’s mind. 

(Feel free to skip to the section at the bottom on how to fix this if you don’t want to explore the problem with me for another minute.)

Where This Shows Up

I see three buckets of reasons why we talk too much in sales conversations. 

1. The first reason we talk too much is we’re in a rush to communicate certain things to the client in the sale:

  • Value proposition/positioning language
  • Service offerings
  • Clients we have worked with
  • Projects we’ve done that will impress the client
  • Projects we’ve done that are relevant to the client
  • Our proprietary process

That’s a lot of information that doesn’t leave much room for the client to talk about their needs.

2. The second reason we talk too much is the pressure we put on ourselves to:

  • Be brilliant (We think it’s hard to communicate how smart we are by listening)
  • Match need to supply (We too quickly match our services/solutions to the client’s need)
  • Match experience to need (We readily interject “We’ve done that!” or “We can do that!”)

We’re better off being active listeners than we are active talkers or interjectors.

3. The third reason we talk too much is there’s something about money conversations that we find stressful:

  • We see the client as the prize to be won (even though we might have more alternative sources of money than the client has alternative sources of expertise)
  • We defer the money conversation (stress is caused by the things we don’t do)
  • The stakes might actually be quite high for us (excess capacity, underfunded—we really need some money!)

So let’s fix this. Here are 10 tips to help you talk less and listen better. 

Ten Ways to Talk Less

1. Use a Sticky Note

Right above my camera is a note that simply says STFU. Try it. 

2. Set a Talk Target

I read somewhere that if you feel everyone in the conversation spoke for an appropriate amount of time then you almost certainly talked too much. AI notetakers all record your talk time these days. Seek to keep your talk time below 40%.

3. Go In With Nothing You Have to Communicate

Let go of it all. Try it just one time. Nothing you have to say, only questions to ask. 

4. Have a Framework for Your Questions 

Frameworks are the middle ground between scripts and freewheeling. Almost all sales frameworks are frameworks for the questions you will ask rather than the statements you will make. Use your talk time to ask questions. 

5. Get Comfortable with Silence

You have to create spaces in the conversation for the client to speak. Learn to allow for pauses then seek to increase their length and frequency. Embracing silence—which will feel awkward at first but not after the fifth or sixth time you do it—is the single biggest little thing you can do to improve your sales outcomes. 

6. Get the Client to Elaborate

Don’t be satisfied with brief responses to your questions, prompt the client to keep going. E.g., “Hmmm. Say more about that,” or mirror back to them their last words with a question intoned.

7. Name That Emotion

Distract yourself from the urge to speak by playing the game of trying to name the emotion the client is feeling. It’s a trick to keep your focus where it should be—on the client. Once you name it, pay attention to whether or not it changes over time. Keep checking in on it to distract yourself from making unnecessary statements.

8. Ask The Client What Information They Need From You

After you’ve asked all your questions and received your elaborated-upon answers, ask the client “What else do you need to know about us?” Answer the questions then ask, “What else?”

9. Audit Your Conversations

Have someone audit your sales conversations calls for precisely this issue of speaking too much. (You’ll be surprised at how many of your other sales challenges disappear once you reduce your talk time.) They can sit in live or review afterward if you are recording. If it’s the latter, have them comment in or otherwise annotate the transcript that tends to accompany the recording. Where did you talk when you should have listened, paused or tried to get the client to elaborate? 

10. Can You Gamify This? 

Can your auditor score you, perhaps giving points for lower talk time, pauses and questions, and demerits for statements or otherwise missing opportunities to get or keep the client talking?

Try These In Your Next Call

Overtalking is so pervasive in sales that you should assume you are doing it even if you really believe otherwise. Record your calls and have others be the judge—share this post with your auditors as a guide. Try to improve your performance in the very next call and see what the downstream effects are. Feel free to share your results with us.